Articles Comments

Naturally Educational » Values Education » Keep The Lines of Communication Open #Responsibility

Keep The Lines of Communication Open #Responsibility

With my pre-teen, I find a lot of parenting is prep-work, laying down the foundation for the teenage years.She already has the basics of childhood. Everything she really needed to know in Kindergarten has been learned and reinforced. Looking both ways before crossing the street, doing unto others, avoiding stranger danger, wearing a helmet while bicycling…we got this.

At this point, we are having a lot of discussions about teenage and adult-type situations I hope do not happen for a very long time (and some I hope never happen). These dilemmas not the easy, clear cut situations of her early childhood. I cannot simply have her memorize Mommy and Daddy’s cell phone number and teach her to recognize community helpers to prepare her for these challenges.Her armor will be her own good judgment. Link by link, plate by plate, with lots of discussion and practice, she’ll have to layer this on over the years.

You cannot cram for these tests. You have to build a solid basis from the start with open lines of communication.

Here is how we work to keep the lines of communication open:

  • Invite Conversation: Just when kids are articulate enough to hold up their end of the conversation, many seem to develop an allergy to their parents. Already my third grader insists I give her our morning hug before the school bus pulls into view. A news article, an advertisement, or a favorite television show can be a great opening for talking about drinking and other important issues. Some kids may find it easier to chat while doing something else, like crafting, preparing dinner or doing chores. Others will open up during car rides–no eye contact makes this ideal for embarrassed kids.
  • Make it a Habit: Rather than saving up all those important things for one big “talk,” discuss big issues in little bites. One of the reasons experts say family dinners are so important is that these are daily opportunities to check in with your children.
  • Listen: During these discussions, it is even more important to listen, than to talk, no matter how much valuable life experience we may think we have. When we listen, we learn where our kids are and can meet them there. We find out how they are thinking and what they value. We have the opportunity to get to know our children better as the young people they are. We also build their confidence–which will be key later when they need to say “no” to peer pressure or make decisions we haven’t anticipated.
  • Give Them Input: Once you really listen to your kids, you need to take the next big step and give them age-appropriate input. If kids know that their needs and opinions will be taken into account, they are more likely to come to you in the future. Maybe your child is looking for opportunities to prove she is more grown up. You can talk with her about some privileges she can earn if she shows she is responsible. This way your child can prove she is grown up without trying risky, more adult behaviors, like drinking.
  • Safe Space: We want our children to come to us and be honest. At the same time, we want them to know their are consequences for their actions. I really struggle with balancing this. One way we approach this is by emphasizing how much we appreciate their honesty. Any necessary discussion of consequences happens later. We also explain that the sooner we know about a situation, the better we can help them find ways to make amends or reduce potential consequences. If my child ever finds herself at a party with alcohol and drugs, or feels pressured to try these, I want her to feel like she can call me.
  • Your Village: From an early age, I always told my children that I want them to come to me or their dad and that I hope they will trust us. At the same time, I know that there are some things it is just too embarrassing to say to Mom and Dad. My children know that there are adults in the family we trust. We would much rather them get their information or help from their grandparents, aunt, or godparents, than from a peer.

Keeping these lines of communication open is hard work–but doing this now may save us a lot of trouble later!


Disclosure: This post is sponsored by The Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility. All opinions are my own.

Original photos by StockMonkeys.com and Flickr user FrankieLeon, Creative Commons 2.0

Follow Me on Pinterest
Be Sociable, Share!

Written by

Candace Lindemann, Yale, BA, Harvard Graduate School of Education, EdM, is an educational consultant and published writer. She enjoys new learning experiences with her children, ages 6 and 4 and 1.5.

Filed under: Values Education

15 Responses to "Keep The Lines of Communication Open #Responsibility"

  1. Organizations exist which train these dogs and partner them with owners who are required the services the dogs
    can offer.

    If Lucky is meeting a new dog as part of his own home, its essential
    he doesnt feel trapped at any point. Instead of reacting to
    unwanted behavior by introducing a poor stimuli, you just take away a
    good one. Dog hair yarn is much like Angora wool in lots of aspects and
    could be knit inside the same manner. Guests can engage in the rugged Maine
    coastline, boating, hiking, swimming, tide-pooling and fishing.

    large dog breeds If
    Lucky is meeting a new dog as part of his own home, its essential he doesnt feel trapped
    at any point. Instead of reacting to unwanted behavior by introducing a poor stimuli, you just take away a good one.
    Dog hair yarn is much like Angora wool in lots of aspects and could be knit inside
    the same manner. Guests can engage in the rugged Maine coastline,
    boating, hiking, swimming, tide-pooling and fishing.

  2. CSR Classics is a model new sport in the CSR Racing
    colldction that allows you to race the greatest classic
    carss ever made and restore them.

    my wweblog – csr classics hacked apk 1.8.1

  3. To-use the hack on the cellular system the resource needs to be mounted over a Windows PC
    first.

  4. pilates says:

    Id should verify with you here. Which isn’t something I often do! I enjoy reading a publish that will make individuals think. Also, thanks for allowing me to comment!

  5. When I say numerous folks on the internet are not what they
    represent themselves to be, I do not mean to imply that they are probably
    criminals.

  6. Now Google is piloting a scheme that may allow users to choose a delivery that’s a
    lot more like you@whereveryouwant. We can all agree that email will be the
    worst thing that’s ever happened to any one us.

    Theyre completely blind to your threat, in short. Well, because of the good people at Dropbox, there’s a brand new extension designed
    for chrome (. Click the plus symbol towards the right to include new feed elements.
    Hushmail is web based plus it offers you quite plenty of value, which doubles as it’s free.
    gmail.com log in Theyre completely blind to your threat, in short.
    Well, because of the good people at Dropbox, there’s a brand new extension designed
    for chrome (. Click the plus symbol towards the right to include new feed
    elements. Hushmail is web based plus it offers you quite plenty
    of value, which doubles as it’s free.

  7. Study much more about my singing monsters right here And
    read below if you need to have data about our my singing monsters hack cheats!

  8. Google says:

    That will be the end of this post. Here youll locate some web-sites that we think you will value, just click the links.

  9. Every after inside a though we choose blogs that we read. Listed below would be the most current web sites that we opt for

  10. sohbet hatti says:

    we prefer to honor numerous other world-wide-web internet sites around the internet, even when they arent linked to us, by linking to them. Underneath are some webpages really worth checking out

  11. we like to honor quite a few other world wide web websites around the web, even though they arent linked to us, by linking to them. Beneath are some webpages really worth checking out

  12. pdr training says:

    that is the end of this post. Here youll find some sites that we believe you will appreciate, just click the links over

  13. シチズン時計登録(中国)有限会社のオフィシャルサイトで、細心の消費者が気になる「オンライン注文」欄の子。ブランドバッグスーパーコピー点撃進入、現在32項の異なるモデルのシチズン時計オンラインの注文は、価格から1620元から中元。2007年と試運転の時と比べてだけではなく、オンライン販売の時計はデザインの種類が増えて、さらに支払い方式は以前は単一の宝を支払って増えて宝を支払って、銀行振り込み、オンラインバンク3種。 http://www.bagkakaku.com/vuitton_bag/2/N51207.html

  14. 一項ごとに作品だけ1種あるいは多種の衰えぬ人気のタブ技術、例えば垂直使用雕刻刀の斜め曲線エッチング術、明るさと同時にアップに際立って飾り物;や透かし雕り技術、必要でまずカッター彫っ彫刻して飾るモデル、更に磨き滑らかな波紋ヤスリ。さまざまな花模様を反映している別のスキルは、例えば「勿忘草」柄の内を見せたエナメルケースエナメル大師非凡な技芸風変わりな黒金ケースは、鉛、銅、銀、硫黄やアンモニア塩の混合物にモデルに象眼して、それからエナメル大師窯に焼き、余分の材料をヤスリで磨き、より滑らかな表面を、植物の図案が現れる。宝石をちりばめ部分、ターコイズとガーネットを体現した芸術家に鮮やかな色を活用する。スーパーコピー時計は1項、靑いエナメル文字盤の黄金のブローチ表には、明るい色の宝石が真に迫っていて演じたみずみずしい花一輪エデンを静かに咲く。 http://www.bagkakaku.com/vuitton_bag/2/N51207.html

  15. カルティエ 時計コピーよく知らないそれらのために、Ætherの腕時計は、フェニックスaz、家に電話をすると起動する店は、2012年には周辺の石の小川ストラップビジネスの延長として。レビューともう一つの非常に驚いたことを意味し、Æther石の小川のストラップをインストールして来るのを見て、いくつかのカスタム化オプションで利用できます。私のために、これまた超私の良いに興味があって、エキゾチックレザーストラップ(スミス&ブラッドリー遺産によって起こす関心)。 http://www.newkakaku.com/cxb1.htm

Leave a Reply